In Case of Swallowing: a Note to the Cautionary Reader

Hello doves,

These past few days I have been informed that I can be a bit of cynical prick from time to time. I tell all you lovely readers this unsurprising bit of information to caution the best of you that I am indeed a cynical prick from time to time, more frequently than people assume.

I was born into a family where the pen was mightier than the sword, if you took your ball point and jabbed wherever it was convenient.  Not really, childhood was a free for all, truly, dibs meant nothing if you weren't shielding the item and shooting out murderous looks like a puma defending her cubs.

Now, I do recall saying that talking about my personal life was unfair to you (cause really, what would I talk about other than my books, video games, shows and baking projects?) and I would  refrain from doing so; however, I feel the need to indeed say something about it now for the purpose of a way for you to understand my mentality.

My life now and as a child was filled with a variety of experiences, some were uplifting others painfully enlightening. I was given food that was made basically from scratch as soon as I had incisors, and taught to cook everything from enthusiasm - and through trial and error, giving the recipe a cursory glance something delicious would come about. The music I first heard in large quantities was music from the old masters: Mozart, Wagner, Gilbert and Sullivan, which slowly progressed to exploring every genre that I could stomach (jazz, metal and '80s down at the time, it has since exploded to most anything). My family was fanatical about art; if something could have creative thought put into it, it was art..How it should be really.

I was read stories by Jack Vance, Lloyd Biggle (and Jr.), random bit from Socrates, Marx, the Bible, and many more. Some of my favorite books from my childhood include Harry Potter, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Sherlock Holmes, the Betty Crocker Cook Book, and the More with Less Cook Book, The Stinky Cheese Man, the Five Gold Bands, The Hobbit etc.

Needless to say, much of text language, trends set by the "cool" kids, books that were children story classics,  and modern music, does not interest me particularly.
 I love the things I have discovered, I love who I am, and what I think, what the world wants me to do does not interest me, I will do, and think as I please, regardless of who is offended.

So, In Case of Swallowing one of my lovely rants? Suck it up, Buttercup <3

B.

The Idea of Moving Forward

Oh my doves! I am indeed sorry for my shoddy performance as a writer. I haven't written in days...weeks..MONTHS! Well..One month..Ish. I will indeed attempt to write AT LEAST once a week, which better be more, considering my original pledge of writing every time I baked something. Clearly a lie since I've been baking pretty regularly, save for when I'm out of town.

I'm bogging myself down with apologies. Moving on!

These past few weeks I've been doing a fat load of nothing. Or at least it appears that way to my discouraged, Please-for-the-love-of-God-someone-shoot-me mentality. Not a good place to be, let me tell ya. However, I've come to a realization: Nothing will change if I don't move forward.
"So I'm stuck", I thought, after a stubborn fatigue from trying solutions that seemed to only pile up as failures had set into my bones like osteoporosis.

But here's the thing boys and girls, perception is reality. And if your perception is that the walls are closing in on you and failures will only be your lot in life, you will be nothing. After all, a person without drive and willingness to press on is like a heart without valves; useless, and a mere shell of its purpose. We are beings with minds, intellect, communication and a curiosity to match our ability to progress.

Don't me wrong, I'm just as pessimistic as the next Nancy,however, I'm also veeeery stubborn. And by George, if the world assumes I'll be a girl living in her parents house jobless for the rest of her life, I'll change my fate!

We are masters of our lives, and we can either take the hand we've been dealt and play halfheartedly, or we can play a very bad hand very well. The distinction is yours and mine to make. *Dollhouse reference, watch it!

This was the conclusion I reached after cleaning the kitchen -which always seems to generate some thoughts for me- and belting out nearly every Florence + The Machine song I knew -When in doubt, Shake It Out!-
I may move forward, regardless of what that may look like. Sure, I have no job, I have barely any life during the daytime, and it's frustrating as listening to a baby screaming in a movie theater..However, I have books, a mind that was made to practice my crafts and a pen to tell it to you, dear reader. Moving forward may be seen in many ways, be it towards ones career or honing sparks of talent to genuine skill. The world is a wide place, and moving forward is only the first step to exploring it.

This is my dear Grandad, God rest his crotchety fighting spirit. He just kind of gives me an example of a man that explored the world best he could. When in doubt, look at the world around you instead of your feet, you gain perspective.

Good Luck one and all!
B.

Focaccia bread and strawberry lemonade

05-28-12
 Day 1: in theory the plan was to wake up ungodly early (somewhere between dawn and 10) and well....That clearly didn't work. At all. My alarm began to go off, and I snoozed. Five minutes later I snoozed. Ten minutes later I snoozed. And then I turned it off completely. Probably not the brightest idea considering bread takes at least two hours. At twelve thirty I stumbled out of bed and began my journey to the kitchen.

Looking at my handy dandy The Easy Way  to Artisan Bread & Pastries by Avner Laskin, from the library of course.  After perusing the thing for a time I decided on a simple recipe, foccacia bread. Foccacia bread is Italian, it's delicious and can have all kinds of things in it, but my recipe was simple. Despite popular theory, bread does not in fact require salt and sugar to have the yeast work and this recipe clearly showed that. Salt and sugar just makes it more elastic. Crazy right? I had no idea, but there you have it.

Anyway, ignoring the complexities of bread dough and all that great science stuff (there's actually a lot of science in bread dough creating, but explaining all of it would be a bit over the top).

I began mixing the dough, olive oil (the Greek Gods contribution to humanity, making life for the pasta creators more bearable), water, yeast and flour. Squishy...and very much like batter, but hey, the more you knead and mix it, viola! BREAD DOUGH! See?

It's a miracle!

Now, to those that may not be bakers, bread taker awhile. I wish it didn't, it's be fabulous to be able to shove flour and the necessary ingredients together and then pop it in the oven for a few minutes. But is anything that simple? Certainly not,otherwise we'd have money from trees daily and things of that sort.  

Unless you have some mystical tree in the backyard you're not telling the rest of us about O.o

After contemplating the meaning of man and life as we know it, I took a peek at the dough that was "resting." And lo and behold, it had risen! Huzzah!

I know I know, a new bowl? Really? Yes, because a greased bowl as opposed to a floured bowl caked in the remnants of dough works much to one's advantage. There's a purpose to nearly everything done in baking, though some of it I really contemplate skipping, like letting the dough rest.

After putting the thing in pans, letting it rise, and baking it to a glorious slightly golden color, I sliced it up for lunch and made strawberry lemonade.

Olives and butterscotch pudding to polish off lunch, dericious!

Here's the recipe for the sandwiches for the curious reader:

Loaf of foccacia bread (any type you like)

Muenster cheese (I expect something like mozzarella or provolone would be fantastic in this but up to you)

1 Tomato

Spinach Leaves

Ham

Fresh basil leaves

And dressing of your preference

Slice up the cheese and tomato. 

Place the tomato, basil and ham on the bread. 

Top it off with the cheese slices. 

Toast in the oven (the bottom part mind you). 

When cheese is melted take it out, put the spinach leaves on, squirt your dressings on and place the top on. Cut up into whatever size of pieces and enjoy :)

There you have it my doves, a time consuming but worthwhile lunch.

On a side note, everyone should bake at least once in their life!

Thanks,

B.

The Commencement

Greetings spectators, listeners, readers and all that sort,

You might be wondering, "is this another blog where they complain about their life?" *head smack* NO! I answer an emphatic no and hope to all things on this plane and the next that I won't be that way. In fact I encourage readers to occasionally metaphorically smack me upside the head to make sure I don't go into great detail of the daily obstacles one faces. Unless it creates food for thought, thoughts for food and tastiness.

My worry of leading you into the depths of banality and mundane life that all of us experience has gotten me far off track from the original purpose. A character trait of mine...  

Anyway,

this will be my place to hopefully make foodies like me drool, copy down any recipes I give and get some food for thought on what I see the issues of humanity. Nice way of saying the stories from the kitchen that I practically live in, and the rest of the verbal bull/passionate ranting that floats around my lovely melon.

Which is a more dignified way to say it do you think? Honestly, at the rate of my bull spewing I could be in politics! But food is better...

The summer months have just begun and I, being jobless, socially lifeless (day time anyway), and bored to tears by the general slothful behavior I exhibit, intend to spend the morning baking!!! A glorious use of time if I do say so myself!

So, starting tomorrow, on an average Monday, I shall try to do the extraordinary: wake up early enough to have bread finished by lunch. Which, unless Hell freezes over and I have a job, is how I shall start my mornings.

Please stay tuned for either future failure, pictures that make you drool, recipes to test, and rants to contribute in!

B.